Tuesday, December 27, 2011

MINI-REVIEW: New Year's Eve

New Year's Eve

A bunch of Oscar winners,
A bunch of other actors


December 9, 2011

Garry Marshall

Warner Bros. Pictures,
New Line Cinema

1 hour 57 minutes



There's a moment during the ending (blooper) credits of 'New Year's Eve' where Carla Gugino pulls from Jessica Biel's open cervix a Blu-Ray and DVD copy of the 2010 ensemble rom-com 'Valentine's Day.' While this was indeed the funniest part of my experience when seeing this film on Christmas Eve with my family, I saw this as a metaphor of what this film really was: a sequel to 'Valentine's Day.' In this ensemble flick, directed by 'Valentine's' helmer Garry Marshall, a crap load of stars are all in NYC celebrating, well, read the title it's not that complicated! Half of the people from the last film are actually in this, believe it or not! To be honest, going into this I was expecting something just so stupid and terrible that I would be aching to get out of the theater ASAP. However I stuck to my critic instincts and stayed in my seat. As shocking as this may sound, 'New Year's Eve' is not a terrible movie. On the contrary it is a very stupid film, with some of the oddest twists and the dumbest clichés I've seen all year.

This movie has good actors and bad actors who all do their jobs just fine, despite their performances being over the top most of the time. This film is also filled with some of the most common clichés you'll ever see in a movie. There is even a sequence (I kid you NOT!) where Lea Michele (the 'Glee' chick) starts singing a song and Bon Jovi (on the other side of NYC) starts singing the exact same song to the same tune. I even whispered to my sister during that scene "I didn't know we were watching an episode of 'Glee,'" because that's exactly what that scene could be called. Actually, this movie rips off a lot of other movies but makes it in a way where it's sort of touching and kind of funny. There are even these romantic twists at the end of the movie that made absolutely no sense at all, yet they were somewhat interesting. The one thing from this movie I can still hate on is the makeup on Abigail Breslin and Michelle Pfeiffer, which looks horrendous. They're stories suck, but it's the makeup I'm ripping on. Other than those things, this movie is hard to put a mark on, so let me put it to you this way: 'New Year's Eve' is the dumbest, yet funniest crap I've seen in 2011.

Sure everything going on was stupid as f***, but I had a decent time and enjoyed hearing my family laugh. Prestigious critics were meant to hate this movie, because they were nitpicking it throughout. I was even nitpicking it for quite some time. Then my brain turned off, and I had a decent time. This movie will soon be forgotten by many, but at least I had some fun and enjoyed it much more than 'Valentine's Day.' Nothing is smart about 'New Year's Eve,' but audiences will sure enjoy it for what it's worth. I tried to hate the crap out of this film, but it was kind of hard for me. Don't worry; this is not going to be on my top 10 of the year. I liked it enough to not hate it entirely. The fact that this is better than 'Valentine's Day' alone should interest people. However if you do see this movie, please don't see it on New Year's Eve, because that would be just so stupid on all levels.


Extremely Loud
and Incredibly Close

One for the Money

The Vow


What to Expect
When You're Not Expecting

The Lucky One

The Five-Year Engagement

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Hello viewers of this blog,

Due to recent comments of spam and profanity present from obnoxious kids who think they are the funniest people in the world, I would like to request that the comments posted here are in good taste, meaning that they have no Anti-Semitic remarks, profanity, sexual innuendo, or any insults to myself. You can criticize the review and give pointers on how to make them better, but how about we be adults about this. Ok? Thank you, and have a nice day.

- Zach Marsh